Dating a Comedian

Oh boy, I had a peek into my dusty drafts folder, and saw this post that I started in April 2009. Never finished it, but I may as well post it, as I still hold these truths to be self-evident:


I read this article today about dating comedians, which hit close to home. It is also very timely, since I was just talking about dating in my last post. One thing I didn’t get into was the comedian aspect of why I’m single. Who would want to date a comic? I’m pretty sure I don’t.

“… I couldn’t help but notice his constant approval-seeking. I figured that was what made him want to be a comedian.”

There were three things that stood out for me. One, the attention-seeking nature of comics. I recognize that in me, and in most of my comedian friends. Of course we want people to like us. That’s why we try to make them laugh. And yes, we crave attention. That’s why we stand on stage with a bright light and a microphone. But at least I have an “off” switch. The ones who are “on” all the time are annoying. And exhausting — there’s only so much polite acknowledgement I’m willing to do. Finally I’m like, “Dude! WHO are you trying to impress here? It’s just us here, sitting at the table.”

“He didn’t want a girlfriend — he wanted an audience.”

YES! I see this all the time. This audience/girlfriend dynamic drives me nuts… partially because it doesn’t work for me as a female comic. Traditionally it’s the guy who makes the girl laugh. That’s their power. I see women gush over the male comic after a show. Men don’t fawn over me… but their girlfriends do. I have yet to have a one night stand after a show because a guy has found me so funny. By being the one who tells the jokes, I have taken away his man power. The ones who do hit on me are the guys who showed up late, and didn’t even realize I was on the show. “So, what brings you to Lethbridge? You here with your boyfriend? Does your boyfriend know you’re sitting at the table alone?”


Hmmm, was there a third thing I was going to talk about? I don’t remember. More recently I did a bit about how men don’t hit on female comedians:

As you can tell by the end of the clip, one of those male comedy fans eventually worked out! More on that story next time.

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